I Sent My Boys to Preschool and Am Reminded Why We Chose to Homeschool

  I've been meaning to share this for awhile but not really sure what I want to say about it. If you remember a post from a couple of months ago (good for you, I'm impressed), I described an emotional melt down I had during our first week of homeschooling. I can't believe that was almost two months ago. Around that time, I drove by a church preschool that is about a mile away from our new house. The school is one that I have often heard of and knew it to have a good reputation. There was a sign advertising that they had a kindergarten class. I thought of a friend whose son recently attended that kindergarten and a teacher that I knew was the co-teacher in the kindergarten class. I was interested.

  I casually mentioned it to my husband and he emphatically encouraged me to look into it for the boys. I had already read their website and found that it was two days a week and that tuition was very comparable to what I had paid previously at our own church preschool, now too far away to be practical for us. 

  

  I mulled over it for a few more days. My pride was hurt that my husband wanted me to send the boys. I felt that he didn't believe in me to teach them well enough on my own. After some honest self evaluation, I realized that he and I both knew that I did need help. This year, I need help. I am expecting in January and currently have a 13 month old. I am constantly exhausted and overwhelmed by the little things, let alone this big thing of undertaking my children's education. 

  I emailed the director and asked if there was room for my two boys. I thought they would probably be full anyway and I was only going to do it if there was room for both boys. The response was, "Your boys were meant to be here. Someone just dropped from Kindergarten and I have a spot left in Pre-K." The next day, we toured the school and I enrolled the boys. In Kindergarten, Gavin will use Saxon Math and Phonics, and Henry will do some Saxon Phonics in Pre-K.

  Initially, when I told Gavin that we were going to a new preschool, he cried. He said he just wanted to homeschool and I knew that he really did love it but I was surprised that he was so upset. My boys have attended preschool since they were babies. Last year, Gavin actually went to two Pre-Ks as he attended afternoon Pre-K every weekday at a public school and preschool 3 mornings a week at our church, where I worked part-time. Gavin always was happy to attend school and adjusted to new classes and teachers seamlessly. He was a big part of our discussions when we decided to homeschool. As soon as I suggested homeschooling, he wanted to do it. Over several weeks I checked in with him to see if he changed his mind and that he really understood what homeschooling would be like. I told him that he wouldn't be with his friends every day. Gavin was consistent. He wanted to homeschool.  When faced with this new school, Gavin was upset. I showed him a calendar and explained that he would go to school two days a week and we would still homeschool the other three days. Over the next few days, I heard him say that to himself several times. "It's only two days, it's only two days." He felt better after seeing his classroom and teachers and has been really happy every day that we have gone to preschool so far.

  This is the fourth week in the preschool year and about the eighth week of our homeschool year. The first couple of weeks were hard for me. I didn't know what to do without the boys. Since then, I have warmed up to it. I look forward to alone time with Everly and she seems to know that it's special too. Today, after we dropped off Henry and were headed out, just the two of us, she laid her head on my shoulder and patted me. It was like she knew she had me all to herself.  

  I have been able to schedule my doctor's appointments during preschool so I don't have to worry about getting them a babysitter. I have also used this time to run errands. Grocery shopping with one child is a dream compared to grocery shopping with three, even though she spilled Cheerios all over Target today.

  Our homeschool days are better in some ways because we aren't able to get stuck in the same old same old when we meet every other day as we might if we were meeting every day. Gavin brings home a lot of homework because they are working through the entire Saxon Kindergarten curriculum for math and phonics, even though they only meet twice a week. This is great for us because the curriculum I bought for this year is not strong enough. That was part of the reason for my melt down the first week of school. I was realizing that the curriculum that I had carefully selected wasn't good enough and would require supplementation in every subject. I was planning to buy Saxon math curriculum before I found this preschool.   

  I have had some trouble with Henry's teacher. It seems that she would like to diagnose him with some sort of developmental problem. The first week she let me know that he had trouble following directions. She was so concerned, I had to make an effort to listen seriously. She didn't tell me anything I didn't already know, but I apologized and let her know that we had the same problem at home. Then we were out of town. The next time I saw her  she was looking at me in a very strange way as I dropped Henry off. She seemed to be studying us and it didn't feel good. After school that day, she said that he had had trouble once again. Then spouted off some conclusions to her observations of Henry that day, her third day to spend with him. She said she thought there was "Something else going on with him." She asked what our pediatrician had said about him and mentioned that she thought he had a sensory issue because he had been distracted by a fan in the music room. 

  I couldn't get away from her fast enough. My head was spinning and my heart was pounding. She doesn't know that I have an early childhood degree and have taught preschool myself. I would never say these sorts of things to a parent in a conference, let alone over the door at pick up. In my classes, we were instructed to share observations but never conclusions that only a doctor should share. I knew the things she said were "Teacher Talk" for something serious like ADD or an Autism Spectrum Disorder. She had said the buzz words "something else going on" and "sensory" and she felt it was serious because she mentioned the pediatrician.

  Rather than act on my immediate feelings, I decided to give her time to get to know Henry. I know that he doesn't follow directions. I am his mother. However, I don't think that he has a diagnosable or treatable problem. I think he is a little boy who has his own ideas about everything. He gets frustrated with himself over the mistakes he makes, it's heartbreaking to watch. I think that 6 weeks is a good adjustment period, so I decided to give her 6 weeks to get to know Henry. If she is still telling me that he is a problem, then I will meet with the director. If he really is ruining this woman's day, she's probably ruining his, too and I would be happy to keep him home.

  I am reminded now of something that I realized early in our decision to homeschool. Even though Gavin is the Kindergartener this year, and I was thinking specifically of him when choosing to homeschool and more vaguely about the rest of our family, Henry is probably our true reason to homeschool. Gavin is the sort of kid who will do well in any situation. He would thrive in public school. I feared that Henry would have trouble and I was right. Here we are a few weeks into the year and his teacher is really concerned about him. If he had to face this for several years, he would begin to feel discouraged and feel like a failure. Especially, when he gets older and sees Gavin doing well in school. I think school would be ruined for him forever before he leaves early elementary.

  At home, I can teach him everything he would learn in school but without the stress of conforming to the standards of a classroom. He can study what interests him, he can take the time that he needs, he can feel his successes and have time to just be a little boy for a few more years. He knows just as much as Gavin knew last year, he loves the topics that we study and takes his new knowledge out into the world with him. For example, our second week we learned about the moon, ever since then he has been giving me his thoughts on the moon randomly when we are out. One night, when we were driving home, he said, "Mommy, I stinking about the moon." (Stinking = thinking, I can't bear to correct him because it's so stinking cute!) "I stink the moon comes out at night to give us light when the sun goes to the other side of the erst." (Earth) I love the way he thinks! 

  I hope that this teacher begins to notice the good in Henry. It would be so sad if she just pegged him as a problem and missed all the wonderful things about him. She thinks he has a sensory issue. I think he has a heightened awareness of the world around him. She thinks he can't follow directions, I've learned that he just wants to finish what he is doing or thinking before moving on to the next activity. Henry requires endless patience and love. Something that a preschool teacher should be able to give but, perhaps, only a parent can give.

  

  

Gender Reveal Party

   We hosted a Gender Reveal Party for our families when we found out that Everly was a girl. It was so much fun, I knew I wanted to do another one when we found out the gender of #4. When I had my boys we just casually told our families when we found out, Gender Reveal Parties were not yet "a thing." I had not heard of them until some time after I had my second son. Poor guys.  They turned out ok, I guess.

  I am seeing a new doctor for this pregnancy and he does not have imaging  equipment in his office. I am used to having monthly ultrasounds at the doctor's office. With my first three, I knew genders by 16 weeks. This time we had to wait until the 20 week anomaly scan at the imaging center. I felt like we might as well just find out at the birth, we waited so long.

  As soon as the ultrasound was scheduled, I began making plans for the party. Pinterest had good ideas but most were too over the top for me. For Everly's party, I made white cupcakes with pink candy in the middle. The idea was that when our guests bit into the cupcake, they would see the color and discover that the baby was a boy or girl. This was fine, except that a couple of the candies showed as the cupcakes were unwrapped giving a few of our guests a little advance notice.

 This time, I decided to try something different. I bought pink and blue balloons. One color was to be sabotaged with a pin after we found out the gender. At the party, our family members would choose a ballon according to their guess. At the same time, all would try to blow up the balloons. Only one color would work, revealing the gender of the baby. 

  The day before the ultrasound, I dragged my kids out shopping for party supplies. Pink and blue plates, cups, and napkins, and balloons and some streamers that I forgot to use. We also grabbed cupcake supplies and got busy making them as soon as we got home. 

  The night before the ultrasound, I could not sleep. I was super hungry and ended up eating three bowls of cereal over the course of the night. The baby was crazy and this was the first night that I had been kept awake by all the kicking and punching going on in there. I could tell that baby was already head down because of the movement I was feeling.

  Finally, the sun came up and I got the boys ready for preschool. Off they went and Everly and I headed to the imaging center. The only problem was, we were an hour early! Blast!! Why had I not scheduled it an hour sooner?! Naturally, we went to Starbucks to kill time. Everly was an absolute doll and played peek-a-boo with the barrista. 

  We started heading to the imaging center and got a call from Keith to pick him up, he was going to meet us there because of a meeting but had decided to skip it. We were still 30 minutes early when we got there :-/ we waited and waited and waited. 

  Finally, after two different waiting rooms, a now familiar ultrasound tech called us back to the exam room. I've never been so happy to pull up my shirt and have that gel rubbed on my belly! He asked if we were hoping for a boy or a girl and we lied that we would be happy either way. 

  The truth was, I was desperately hoping for a girl! Our boys are 16 months apart and though it was really hard when they were little, it is so wonderful now that they have each other to play with and I pray that they will forever be best buds. Everly and the new baby are going to be almost as close, 17 months apart, and I hoped, for her sake, that she could have a close sister as the boys have each other. However, I really thought it was a boy.

  We saw our baby on the screen. Perfect, beautiful baby! Hands and feet perfectly formed and the most adorable little baby face with an upturned nose! I watched, breathless. The tech got a shot of the baby's bottom and was measuring the umbilical cord. I looked closely. No sign of a penis! Instead, little lines that meant girl! Keith looked at me, I knew that he knew too and I smiled and winked at him. After showing us the blood flow through the umbilical cord, the tech zoomed in on the baby's bottom and circled the girl parts and announced "It looks like a little girl! See those lines? There's no question it's a girl." Keith and I high fived and I felt hot tears stream down my face.  I was so happy for Everly! God knew she needed a sister and he is giving her one!

  I can't believe how perfect this is! You can't plan these things. We have two boys close together and a space of three and a half years now we'll have two girls close together. It's a miracle! Especially, considering we had a conversation in April in which we discussed having another baby so Everly could have a close sibling like the boys. We both kind of wanted another baby but decided that we needed at least another year before having one because I was beginning to homeschool and we needed a bigger house and maybe a bigger car. I remembered the blur that was Henry's infancy and thought I couldn't do it again. God had other plans, and a few weeks later I was in the shower, crying in bewilderment over a positive pregnancy test.

  After the ultrasound, we went to lunch at a nice restaurant to celebrate. I couldn't shake the feeling of wonder. I was so excited for this baby and for our family. I imagined all the times that the boys would be doing Boy Scout stuff with Daddy while Mommy and the girls would do whatever the girls want to do. I imagined matching dresses for Easter and the dress up box they will share. I imagined the protection of older brothers as they grow into teenagers and young women. The value of the companionship that these little sisters will share through out their girlhood and into their womanhood.

  The rest of the day, I got busy preparing for the party that was coming that evening. I iced cupcakes and decorated them with a question mark on top, I poked holes in 20 blue balloons, got the kitchen ready for the party.

    Finally, it was time for the party. Family arrived and Keith teased everyone pretending to accidentally give hints about the gender. I passed out the balloons and for the most part, boys and men guessed boy and girls and women guessed girl. I explained that only one color would work and counted to three and everyone blew on their balloons. As the pink ones inflated, I heard squeals of joy from the grandmothers. The only damper on the moment was that we had to encourage Gavin and Henry to be happy for Everly to have a sister instead of being upset that they weren't getting the brother that they were hoping for.

  What joy! Now to come up with a name that is as pretty and unique as Everly and pick out colors for the nursery. 

Nature's Bounty

  About 5 years ago, my husband and I spent, rather, invested a couple hundred dollars building a raised garden bed in our backyard. We used railroad ties, brought in soil and compost, and built a lattice fence around it to keep the dogs out. The lattice fence was the most expensive part, chicken wire would have done the trick but I wanted it to be attractive. The lattice, however, cast big shadows on the garden when the sun was low and started to look terrible after about a year of weather so we ended up using chicken wire anyway.

  We are strictly recreational gardeners, not professionals. Nor are we experts by any means. Our favorite things to plant are tomatoes, peppers, cucumber, squash, green beans and okra. Our boys love to help in the garden, especially when it is time to harvest! Though growing our own vegetables has not turned them into vegetable lovers, it has encouraged them to taste vegetables that they wouldn't even touch otherwise. If nothing else, it has been a very rich educational experience for them. 

  Usually, we keep our garden alive until about the end of July. The last two years have seen record breaking high temperatures and drought. Almost every year, I have let the garden die because I didn't water while my husband was out of town. Oops! I don't love to trek out in the heat and drag a hose from one end of the yard to the other dodging dog poop, mosquitoes and flies the whole way. I love gardening in the spring, not so much in the summer.

  This year, has been wonderful! Very mild temperatures and lots of rain early on. It was our best tomato year ever! The tomato plants stopped producing at around the time we moved in July. I was a little sad to leave our garden, but I thought it was pretty much done anyway.  This was about the time every summer that our gardens fizzled out. Though we moved, we still own our old house and rent it to my grandmother. We got a call from her that we needed to come pick some tomatoes that were ripe on the vine before the squirrels got them all. Now, I really don't like squirrels eating my tomatoes because they waste most of the tomato as they are trying to eat it. Stick to the nuts bros!

  When she said we need to pick some tomatoes, I has no idea that she meant we needed to pick this many! 

Unfortunately, I am the only one in my house who likes to eat tomatoes. Though  I do love them, there is no way I could eat this many before they go bad so I did what any good farmer would do. I got online and searched for recipes! I made fresh salsa and spaghetti sauce. I plan to freeze the sauce in smaller portions to use as needed. If this ever happens again, I will try my luck with canning. I have never canned anything before and am too overwhelmed with my little life right now to experiment with a new skill.

The salsa recipe was pretty straight forward. Chop some stuff and mix it together. Voila. This was my first time to use a fresh jalapeño and I learned that my skin is sensitive to the juice. My hand burned in several places for about four hours after I chopped the pepper. Ouch! Turns out this is a fairly common problem.

  The spaghetti sauce was a much bigger undertaking. The first thing on the recipe's to do list was to peel the tomatoes. Excuse me? How the heck do you peel a tomato and is it really necessary? Surely, no one will notice a little tomato skin in their spaghetti. Well, I really didn't want to peel the tomatoes but I didn't feel comfortable skipping the step so I searched YouTube for a how to video. There were several. I picked the shortest one. Turns out, that it is necessary to peel when slow cooking a tomato because the skins don't break down like the rest of the tomato and you are left with some yucky stuff in your otherwise, yummy food. In the video I watched, the chef demonstrated scoring the tomato with a pairing knife then dropping it in boiling water. After about 30 seconds, he removed the tomato from the boiling water and placed it immediately into a bowl of ice water. He then picked it up and very easily removed the skin with his fingers. 

  I decided to give it a try. I boiled my tomatoes in two batches. The first batch, I scored first by slitting the top with a knife. The second batch I tried skipping that step. Lesson learned: score the tomatoes first. The tomatoes that had been scored came out of the water with a nice slit in the skin that ran all the way down one side. Most of these, I peeled the entire skin off in one piece by gently pinching it between two fingers. The ones that hadn't been scored had no such slit and I had to use a knife to get it started. After I peeled the tomatoes, I puréed them with an emersion blender that I bought for making baby food. Then I chopped some stuff and sautéed it all before combining everything in my crock pot to simmer for 4 hours.

The round bowl is full of skinned tomatoes. The rectangular bowl is full of the skins. Good thing I took the skins off because after they were cooked, they were thick and tough, yuck.

Peppers, carrots, onion and basil.

Everly waited patiently.

The finished product looks delish. Although, I think it will be necessary to purée the whole thing because it looks a little too vegetably for my crew. 

  Now I am tired and my kitchen is a disaster. I will probably continue to buy spaghetti sauce in a jar from the store but for today, I feel like a chef and my house smells like an Italian eatery. Basil anyone?