I casually mentioned it to my husband and he emphatically encouraged me to look into it for the boys. I had already read their website and found that it was two days a week and that tuition was very comparable to what I had paid previously at our own church preschool, now too far away to be practical for us.
I mulled over it for a few more days. My pride was hurt that my husband wanted me to send the boys. I felt that he didn't believe in me to teach them well enough on my own. After some honest self evaluation, I realized that he and I both knew that I did need help. This year, I need help. I am expecting in January and currently have a 13 month old. I am constantly exhausted and overwhelmed by the little things, let alone this big thing of undertaking my children's education.
I emailed the director and asked if there was room for my two boys. I thought they would probably be full anyway and I was only going to do it if there was room for both boys. The response was, "Your boys were meant to be here. Someone just dropped from Kindergarten and I have a spot left in Pre-K." The next day, we toured the school and I enrolled the boys. In Kindergarten, Gavin will use Saxon Math and Phonics, and Henry will do some Saxon Phonics in Pre-K.
Initially, when I told Gavin that we were going to a new preschool, he cried. He said he just wanted to homeschool and I knew that he really did love it but I was surprised that he was so upset. My boys have attended preschool since they were babies. Last year, Gavin actually went to two Pre-Ks as he attended afternoon Pre-K every weekday at a public school and preschool 3 mornings a week at our church, where I worked part-time. Gavin always was happy to attend school and adjusted to new classes and teachers seamlessly. He was a big part of our discussions when we decided to homeschool. As soon as I suggested homeschooling, he wanted to do it. Over several weeks I checked in with him to see if he changed his mind and that he really understood what homeschooling would be like. I told him that he wouldn't be with his friends every day. Gavin was consistent. He wanted to homeschool. When faced with this new school, Gavin was upset. I showed him a calendar and explained that he would go to school two days a week and we would still homeschool the other three days. Over the next few days, I heard him say that to himself several times. "It's only two days, it's only two days." He felt better after seeing his classroom and teachers and has been really happy every day that we have gone to preschool so far.
This is the fourth week in the preschool year and about the eighth week of our homeschool year. The first couple of weeks were hard for me. I didn't know what to do without the boys. Since then, I have warmed up to it. I look forward to alone time with Everly and she seems to know that it's special too. Today, after we dropped off Henry and were headed out, just the two of us, she laid her head on my shoulder and patted me. It was like she knew she had me all to herself.
I have been able to schedule my doctor's appointments during preschool so I don't have to worry about getting them a babysitter. I have also used this time to run errands. Grocery shopping with one child is a dream compared to grocery shopping with three, even though she spilled Cheerios all over Target today.
Our homeschool days are better in some ways because we aren't able to get stuck in the same old same old when we meet every other day as we might if we were meeting every day. Gavin brings home a lot of homework because they are working through the entire Saxon Kindergarten curriculum for math and phonics, even though they only meet twice a week. This is great for us because the curriculum I bought for this year is not strong enough. That was part of the reason for my melt down the first week of school. I was realizing that the curriculum that I had carefully selected wasn't good enough and would require supplementation in every subject. I was planning to buy Saxon math curriculum before I found this preschool.
I have had some trouble with Henry's teacher. It seems that she would like to diagnose him with some sort of developmental problem. The first week she let me know that he had trouble following directions. She was so concerned, I had to make an effort to listen seriously. She didn't tell me anything I didn't already know, but I apologized and let her know that we had the same problem at home. Then we were out of town. The next time I saw her she was looking at me in a very strange way as I dropped Henry off. She seemed to be studying us and it didn't feel good. After school that day, she said that he had had trouble once again. Then spouted off some conclusions to her observations of Henry that day, her third day to spend with him. She said she thought there was "Something else going on with him." She asked what our pediatrician had said about him and mentioned that she thought he had a sensory issue because he had been distracted by a fan in the music room.
I couldn't get away from her fast enough. My head was spinning and my heart was pounding. She doesn't know that I have an early childhood degree and have taught preschool myself. I would never say these sorts of things to a parent in a conference, let alone over the door at pick up. In my classes, we were instructed to share observations but never conclusions that only a doctor should share. I knew the things she said were "Teacher Talk" for something serious like ADD or an Autism Spectrum Disorder. She had said the buzz words "something else going on" and "sensory" and she felt it was serious because she mentioned the pediatrician.
Rather than act on my immediate feelings, I decided to give her time to get to know Henry. I know that he doesn't follow directions. I am his mother. However, I don't think that he has a diagnosable or treatable problem. I think he is a little boy who has his own ideas about everything. He gets frustrated with himself over the mistakes he makes, it's heartbreaking to watch. I think that 6 weeks is a good adjustment period, so I decided to give her 6 weeks to get to know Henry. If she is still telling me that he is a problem, then I will meet with the director. If he really is ruining this woman's day, she's probably ruining his, too and I would be happy to keep him home.
I am reminded now of something that I realized early in our decision to homeschool. Even though Gavin is the Kindergartener this year, and I was thinking specifically of him when choosing to homeschool and more vaguely about the rest of our family, Henry is probably our true reason to homeschool. Gavin is the sort of kid who will do well in any situation. He would thrive in public school. I feared that Henry would have trouble and I was right. Here we are a few weeks into the year and his teacher is really concerned about him. If he had to face this for several years, he would begin to feel discouraged and feel like a failure. Especially, when he gets older and sees Gavin doing well in school. I think school would be ruined for him forever before he leaves early elementary.
At home, I can teach him everything he would learn in school but without the stress of conforming to the standards of a classroom. He can study what interests him, he can take the time that he needs, he can feel his successes and have time to just be a little boy for a few more years. He knows just as much as Gavin knew last year, he loves the topics that we study and takes his new knowledge out into the world with him. For example, our second week we learned about the moon, ever since then he has been giving me his thoughts on the moon randomly when we are out. One night, when we were driving home, he said, "Mommy, I stinking about the moon." (Stinking = thinking, I can't bear to correct him because it's so stinking cute!) "I stink the moon comes out at night to give us light when the sun goes to the other side of the erst." (Earth) I love the way he thinks!
I hope that this teacher begins to notice the good in Henry. It would be so sad if she just pegged him as a problem and missed all the wonderful things about him. She thinks he has a sensory issue. I think he has a heightened awareness of the world around him. She thinks he can't follow directions, I've learned that he just wants to finish what he is doing or thinking before moving on to the next activity. Henry requires endless patience and love. Something that a preschool teacher should be able to give but, perhaps, only a parent can give.
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