A Routine is Slowly Taking Form

  I never liked schedules. They are so restricting! Some people can't function without a schedule. I can't function within one. I remember one very common question when I had my first baby, not the most common and extremely stupid "Is he sleeping through the night?" But the other one "So, is he on a schedule yet?" Or "Have YOU gotten him on a schedule yet?" Say it this way and the insinuation is that the newborn should be on a schedule and it is you, the mother's, failure if a schedule has not been achieved. Ugh. I hate people sometimes. Do me a favor and don't ask me stupid questions after I have this baby. It's number 4 and I'm older now so I might not be very nice. 

  Needless to say, I never had my babies on a "schedule." I would drop them off at the church nursery and not be able to answer basic questions like, when will they need to eat again? Uhh, I don't know, when he's hungry or when my boobs start to hurt whichever comes first. I didn't know my babies' schedules for at least 4 months because they were always changing. They sleep the first six weeks then they hit growth spurts and nurse all day and all night and then they start sleeping better at night and then they stop sleeping at night. It's just whatever. I am not cut out to put babies on schedules. I'd rather go with the flow, nurse on demand, co-sleep, stay out late if we feel like it, etc. 

  What I do like is a nice routine. While a schedule stresses me out, a routine is calming and comforting. Babies and children need routines as well. Research suggests that the absence of a routine can be detrimental to the development of a young child. I can still hear one of my college professors say, "The basic routine is the curriculum for infants and toddlers." Children need to know what to expect and so do adults. When we don't know what to expect we waste energy and anxiety trying to anticipate what will happen next.

  Last week, I started to write out a schedule for our homeschool day. Not because I wanted to but because I thought I had to. I got out some paper and stared at it. It was blank and white and so it remained. Ideas of time and structure swirled in and out of my head until I couldn't think straight. I decided to wait a week and revisit the schedule. I didn't even know what we were doing yet. 

  I am so glad I didn't make a schedule because I would have been frustrated and surely broken it immediately and it would have been another failure to add to the pile. What has emerged over the last few weeks is a routine. We wake up, eat breakfast, get dressed, then go to the "School Room." We start with what a classroom teacher would call "Circle Time" or "Morning Meeting." Followed by a couple of learning activities and books to read. It takes about an hour. Then, it's free time for them while I give Everly some much needed attention. She is such a good baby! The boys usually play outside at this time and we may do reading lessons when Everly goes down for her nap or wait and do them in the afternoon. I still haven't found the best time for art but I've tried several different things and I am sure something will stick soon.

  In the afternoon, after school and between naps, we usually do something out of the house. It is still summer so we are going to the pool or splash pads. Once a week we go to the library and another day each week we go to the grocery store, not my favorite thing but a necessary evil. The kids have been really good about letting me make dinner and then we play outside until dark or go to the pool if we haven't already been.

  This is a routine that I can live with. The kids all seem happy and comfortable with it too. My greatest triumph this week has been beating the afternoon blues. Usually 3:00-5:00 is a really bad time for me. I am tired from the day and we still have several hours until Keith comes home. The kids are often really cranky at this time and I am out of tricks to keep them happy. I'm not exactly sure how it happened or if it will stick but we have all been happier in the afternoons than ever before.

  Our routine will gradually change as we move  into fall. The pool and splash pads  will close, we will gradually start playing inside more as the weather gets cooler and my tummy gets bigger. I still need to work some things into our routine but I don't expect it to be perfect. We will constantly be tweaking and changing as our family's needs grow and change. A routine is a schedule without the restriction of time. It allows for flexibility, which is a sanity saver and a relief for me.

  I love that homeschooling gives us the freedom to do what works best for us. We know what we need and if we are observant enough we can make changes as needed. We can customize every detail of our day. What freedom!